Adventures and Other Sorts

Being a new mom is one thing, but breast-feeding is a whole other ball game. No one ever tells you its going to be another full time job on top of what you already have. Don't get me wrong I love the bonding moments I have with her, and I love that at times I am the only one that will calm her down. But at the same time I am giving up my entire body to her for at least 6 months or whenever food in introduced... That is a lot to take in after already giving up my body for 9 months prior. Needless to say after a few weeks we got the hang of it and I wasn't as sore anymore so it wasn't a grueling experience.
Today I got the guts to go to the towncenter. Unfortunately, to only window shop. Being a stay at home mom I don't get the luxuries other working moms get. But hey I get to look at my beautiful daughter every day, every minute and no one is telling me what to do =) I feel so lucky I can stay home and watch her grow. It worked out good, she slept the whole time I was so proud lol. It's just nice to get out into the world again even if its only for an hour. Yesterday we visited my mom and her work, picked up some pictures I got developed and then went on a walk! So you could say I am definitely confident taking her out now.
Waiting for my husband to come home from work, I decided I was going to try and look decent for when he got home... ya know get out of my yoga pants and t-shirt. So I took a shower, made some coffee ( to wake my sleepy butt up) and did my hair and make-up. Then the dreaded... my closet. What to wear, or more like what fits. After going through all my favorite outfits, which isn't a whole lot to begin with) I ended back up in my yoga pants and t-shirt. I tell ya nothing is more depressing than your "fat jeans" not fitting. I gained about 38lbs during my pregnancy.. alot more than I ever expected but I guess I just assumed it was going to fall off breast-feeding. WRONG. I mean 20lbs did easy, but the other 18 not so easy. The last thing I want to do is work out when I have time to myself. I already eat healthy.. minus the ice cream at night, but I don't eat alot. Just like everything else in my life I am going to have to work to get what/where I want. Nothing comes easy. But if it did... would I want it?

Labor of Love

9 Months + 6 days into my pregnancy I had a doctors appointment that led me to believe I was going to be induced in two days if I didn't go into labor on my own. These words are not exactly what I wanted to hear. Leaving the appointment with little hope Stella was going to make her appearance that night or the next day, I tried to stay positive. My husband has helped me stay positive and look on the bright side for 10 years now. (Which sometimes can be more annoying than helpful. But most of the time I needed that constant reassurance.) Though I tried doing everything in the book to get this little dove out of me, I came to terms she just wasn't ready. Later that night around 10:45pm just as I was about to dose off I felt a kick and heard a sound of a rubber-band snapping. Could this be?! Had my water broke?!... Yes Ma'am! And of course when I told my husband, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Are you sure?" Yes I'm freakin' sure I have water pouring out of my V! While he was scrambling around the house getting things together, dog's bed, their food, snacks for the hospital, pillows etc. I felt pleasantly calm even though I was about to go through the most painful experience of my life. Driving to the hospital, dogs in tow, towel wrapped around my waist there was so much excitement in the uncertainty of what was about to happen. We were about to see our baby girl, something that was only a thought in our heads for a very long time. We have finally met that moment. And suddenly, I caught myself remembering Rob walking through the door of my 9th grade english class, it sounds silly, but I knew I would fall head over heals for this boy. Come to find out he is the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend. True love really does exist people, we ARE living proof. 

No one tells you it takes about an hour to check into the hospital before you actually see the birthing room. They ask you questions WHILE you are having contractions, I wanted to smack this lady. Thinking back a lot of everything that happens next is a blurr. I wanted a natural birth, took yoga throughout my entire pregnancy hoping to breathe and walk through the labor. But since my water broke they didn't want me walking around. That made it hard to continue with my labor plan. I was stuck by the side of my bed. I ended up insisting on a ball I could at least bounce on to get my mind off the contractions. I became very nauseous, next thing I know 3 nurses come rushing in telling me to lay on the bed and turn side to side. As they put the oxygen mask on me, all I could think of is what did I do to my baby. After about 5 minutes of not telling me what's going on they instructed me not to get out of bed, for they didn't want me to be rushed in to get an emergency c-section... puh no shit neither did I! After about 2 hours of laying in bed I decided to get the epidural. That was an experience all in itself. Around 10:30am I am allowed to start pushing. Oh pushing. Yuck.... Not much to say about that only that it lasted for 2 1/2 hours. But the best part of pushing is that at the end of it all you get to hold your little jewel you treasured for 9 months. And around 12:32pm I did just that. There is no better feeling than the one of holding your first born. Words aren't strong enough to attach to the feeling. It is unexplainable. Rob cut the cord, then she was placed on my chest screaming at the top of her lungs! The most beautiful sound. She was so beautiful, she was ours. At that moment I knew I would be a great mother and Rob would be an excellent father. All the worries went out the window. Because when you become a parent, along comes this confidence. Snap! It's there.

                  Life as I knew it, will never be again.....It will be so much better.